When I was pregnant, I was so into reading about how to raise a child. It was going to be my first one and I was very excited about this new era of my life. I was buying books about childcare, reading parenting blogs and listening to my friends with kids. Everyone has so much to say about motherhood, and everyone seems to be so right. I was so carried away with the things that I have read and heard and just can’t wait to hold that little cutie in my arms and start parenting. Ofcourse things didn’t turned out the way i have imagined when I had her. All the things that I swallowed about sleep training, the happiness of breastfeeding, making the right routine for the baby etc. They all seemed so easy before the baby and I was so determined to implement them all.
After a couple of months followed by my delivery I found my strength again to perform the rules of raising a baby. But i was unsuccesfull again. Following days I realised that the problem was not me failing to do all the things that i’ve read about. The problem was, I was trying to be the perfect mom. And that perfect mom doesn’t exist. If it does, it’s not as perfect as we thought it is. 🙂
I put everything a side and gave myself time to get used to the new life of mine. Forget about the rules and I tried to get to know my child. I did my best to, not to apply the rules but to understand her personality, her reactions to different facts. I don’t mean to discredit the books that i read. They prepared me very well for my baby, i learned tricks on understanding her needs. My word is for the moms who thinks that they should be indefectible, as I was trying to be in the begining.
Let her spill the food when she is trying to put them into her month. Yes, it’s important for your child to eat well in order to grow well. And as a mom you are responsible for her growth. When you let her eat by herself most of the dish goes all over the floor instead of her stomach but that’s how she’s going to learn. Try to give her extra meal time. So stop being the perfect mom and enjoy watching every fun moment of her accomplish eating.
Don’t restrict yourself. Go out and make plans with your friends. It’s up to you whether taking the baby with you or leaving her to the nanny or to the grannies (who are eagerly waiting to see her). It doesn’t make you a bad mom for having fun and making time for yourself. Don’t forget that it’s your own happiness first to make her happy. Remember the information on planes before the take off. It’s your oxygen mask you should put on before your kid. 🙂 You can’t help her when you’re not okey. Yes that little creature is desperate for your help and it makes you sorrow when you’re not by her side but leaving her for an hour or two won’t be a huge problem.
If you say that you don’t have anybody to leave her to, then take her with you. First couple of tries might be hard, but when you get to know her reactions it will ease. When you go out with her don’t be so strict about her daily routine. The time and the length of her sleep may be different than the ones she took in her crib. Or she can eat a different type of food for that meal of the day. And maybe in this way, she will become aware of those delicious food her mom makes for her everyday. 🙂
Let her learn how to climb up the sofa. Watch her trying to do her best while yelling kind of a crying at the same. 🙂 You can help her a little but just don’t hold her and pull her on the sofa. As many people misunderstand the perfect mom does not do things on her kids behalf. She shows her the way, helps her a little and than teaches her to be patient about her goals. Yeah right now the goal is climbing up that sofa. 🙂
To sum up, I did my best to ignore the judging eyes when I was chatting with my friend and sipping my coffee while my little cutie pie was too busy on eating the meatballs i have sliced in tiny bites for her. Or when I was just looking at her with a supporting smile on my face while she was trying to climb the slide backwards in the playground. And ofcourse failing everytime. 🙂
She can’t be the perfect kid as we can’t be the perfect moms. So relax and enjoy watching every second of little you acquainting the world.
