The art of self-love is a process we are constantly trying to master. Whatever your age or gender, every human being suffers with their mentality to love themselves whole-heartedly. It is a daily struggle for mankind to accept our flaws, forgive ourselves for any wrongdoings, and to reflect on what truly makes us strong.
I like to think I am a beautiful young woman who has so much life in front of her, but for years I suffered silently from anxiety, depression and self-loathing. It wasn’t until I was twenty-one that I finally began the slow process to self-love. I didn’t get to where I am today, of how I view myself from self-help books or having the patience that everything will get better on its own. That’s a load of crap! To be better, you must take action. You must be willing to absorb your negative thoughts, reflect, and release love back into your mind and soul.
I was faced with some of my worst fears
The first step in my journey to self-love was booking a one-way ticket to Iceland, where I would start my solo adventure backpacking Europe. I won’t lie to you, adrenaline had completely taken over my body and my “fight or flight” response kicked into gear, which left me faced with two choices. Either let my anxiety and fear of travelling alone control how I live my life or take a leap of faith into the unknown. I chose the latter and it has been the best decision I have ever made in my life. I feel as if it almost makes up for all the mistakes I had made in the past.
Travelling outside my small town I call home and out into the world, I was quickly thrown out of my comfort zone, as well as the certain culture I grew up knowing, and in doing so molded me into the woman I am today.
I grew up being a lover and a giver. I give without restraint and I have no boundaries for what I would do for those I love. Some might even say, it’s both a blessing and a curse to feel and love so deeply. Sadly, they are not mistaken. I regretted being so giving and accepting towards people after so many letdowns. I forgave easily and too quickly for my lack of judgment in character.
I like to believe the good in people, despite how many times they showed me they were incapable of that ability. It’s like the disappointment and betrayal took years off my life, but through travelling I have put life in a completely different perspective. That’s not to say I don’t still look for the good deep down into people’s souls, but I no longer quickly forgive like I used to. I refuse to hold grudges, but I sure as hell do not let toxic people stay in my life longer than necessary. And I have realized it is OKAY to cut people out of your life to allow yourself to heal.
While traveling alone in multiple countries, I was doing something that I had never done before. The roles had reversed, and I was putting myself first. For once in my life, I was being selfish and that feeling of being free and independent put me in a trance of euphoria. I had never allowed myself to let myself come first, it was always family and friends’ wants and needs before my own. While I believe that’s a good quality to have as a person, it is also necessary to put yourself first sometimes.
travelling has made me learn to face my demons
Throughout my journey abroad, I was faced with some of my worst fears. It is true that you don’t realize how strong you really are until you are in dire need of having to tap into that inner strength. My anxiety still follows me around like a puppy, but I’ve trained it well to not let it absorb my well-being. I found my strength overseas in streets with names I could not pronounce. Over the weeks of exploring I had let my weaknesses become some of my greatest strengths.
Not only was I now putting myself first, finding strength in my weakest points, and clearing the air of all negative thoughts and toxic people, but also finding happiness with being alone. I grew up believing I needed another person to make me happy, that if I didn’t have someone to love that I couldn’t be loved in return. The day I figured out that was a load of BS, has been the happiest moment in my life. I am okay with being alone. I know now that to completely love another human being, you must learn how to love yourself first.
Travelling alone and backpacking by myself put me in a different state of mind. My thoughts were my thoughts. My decisions were my decisions. My feelings were my feelings, and mine alone. I had no one to influence me or coerce me into believing what I was thinking or doing was wrong. I was left alone to face my thoughts and fears and they blinked first. Overcoming what you’re afraid of most is one of the key players in mastering the art of self-love.
I urge everyone who feels like they are not capable of self-love or receiving love to travel. Book a flight to anywhere, the world is yours to discover. Or, travel somewhere local and be one with yourself and your thoughts. Find something that you love and do it for you and no one else.
Not many people realize the moment it all changed for them, that specific moment in time where they come to terms that their life will never be the same. For me, it was the day that I stepped onto that airplane heading to a country I had never been before by myself, waiting to see where life would take me. I will preach to others until my dying breath of how much travelling has made me learn to face my demons and my fears and to fight like hell for what I deserve – to be happy. I believe that travelling can heal a person of whatever they may be suffering from. So, do it! Go out into the world and you will soon learn firsthand how you can finally master the art of self-love.
